Clean Jewish Humor
Harry Leichter’s Large Collection of Clean Jewish Humor
Consonants learned:
B, V, D, R, Sh, S, Th, T, L, M, M, Y, V, N, A, A, N, G, H, cH
Ishtar = Ashtoreth
Note: Also known as Isys, Dionysis, Aphrodite, the queen of heaven, mother earth
They would celebrate Astarte on the vernal equinox. The ecclesiastical vernal equinox is the sunday that falls the week after the vernal equinox. The nicene council decided to celebrate Easter on the sunday following the first full moon that comes after March 21st.
Note: which this year (2010) just so happens to fall on the same Sunday as the festival of first fruits following Pesach.
The Jewish new moon (Rosh Chodesh) starts the new month. At Nisan 15th it would be a full moon. The feast of first fruits (Yom Rishon) the first day of the week following Pesach. The Jewish leap year adds a leap month, there are seven leap years in a nineteen year leap cycle. Adar Sheneim (Second Adar) is the additional month added in a leap year. This is why the dates of Easter celebration vary drastically from Pesach celebration.
Vowels learned:
E, Ah, A, O, U, Eh, Ei
New Consonants:
Kaf, Khaf, Khaf Sofit
Patach Yod = Ai
Tsere Yod = Ei
Kamatz Yod = Ai
Kaf Chamatz = Cha, which is masculine
Kaf Sheva = Ch, which is masculine
How is your peace! Peace be unto you.
Bechol
Kamatz Chatuf = O
Chol = all
Chataf Kamatz = O
Vocab:
Malcheinu = our King, Melecha = King, Malchot = Kingdom, Bareku = Bless, Baruch = Blessed, Kavod = Glory, Kovay = Hat, Bechall = with all, Chakam = wise, Nachon = Correct, Hoshech = Darkness, Chen = Yes, Kavanah = Intention, Koah = Strength, Kahol = Blue, Kotel = Wall, Keter = Crown, Kosher = Kosher, Derech = Road, Berech = Knee, Acheshav = Now, Kabar = Already, Kador = Ball, Kelev = Dog
Baruch = Blessed Be, Shem = His Name, Kavod = Whose Glorious, Malchuto = Kingdom, Le Olam = Forever, Vaed = Ever.
Baruch Shem Kavod Malchuto Le Olam Vaed
Blessed be His Name whose glorious kingdom is forever and ever
Hireq = I, Ee
Hireq Yod = I, Ee. Longer
Gil
Vocabulary:
Le Lemod = To Study, Le Shemoa = To Hear, Le Shelat = To Send, La Shir = To Sing, Le Hachot = To Wait, Le Reot = To See, Le Chetov = To Write, Le Hacher = To Know, Le Debar = To Speak, La Asot = To Do, La Lechet = To Go/To Walk, Le Hatehil = To Begin, Averit = Hebrew, Angelit = English, Ani = I, Baet = House, HaBaetAh = Homeward.
Ani Yachol Lechetov Uledachar Avrit
I am able to write and speak Hebrew
Avar means to cross over. Abraham crossed over into Canaan. Avrit means the language of the one who crossed over.
Bonus question on quiz (answer on page 82)
Ein Keloheinu
There is none like our G-d
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